Things People Say to Artists
December 12, 2015 at 3:49 AM
Thirty Five Things People Say to Artists
Sometimes, you get faced with stupid questions at work and have to answer it in the best (sarcastic) way possible. Well, here is my list of thirty five things that people say to artists.... Well, at least these are some of the questions that I have been asked since I began working as an artist.
1. "Are you the artist?" As they step into my art studio.
- No, I'm not the artist; I just introduced myself as the artist when you came through the door...... Of course I'm the artist silly!
2. "Is all of this artwork yours?" They ask while they are looking at my art in my art studio.
- Go back to question one....
3. "Did you draw/paint this?" They ask this while looking at my art in my art studio.
- Again.... Go back to question one.
4. "Can you draw me/pet/family/friends/everyone like a photograph?"
- No, I am an artist not a machine. If you would like your picture taken or photo shopped, that is not what I do. If you like my art style, then we will talk, but my artwork will not look "picture perfect".
5. "That is expensive; I could find someone to do that for a cheaper price"
- Go ahead, go to the other person that will pay less or offer work for free. My artwork is priced based off of my knowledge, education, time, supplies and materials. I have to get paid, just like you I also have bills to pay and a family to feed.
6. "Why did it take you so long to paint/draw that?"
- Sometimes drawing and painting take a long time, especially when there are details included, or all those dots placed in such a way to make an image. That takes a lot of time to do that! That and I cannot stand or sit for hours due to health reasons, so I take my time.
7. "Did you do that on a computer?" or "Is that a photograph?"
- No, I actually drew that with my own bare hands!
8. "Can you paint a mural (drawing, painting or other art thing) for free? It would be great exposure!"
- No, it takes a long time to paint a mural (or any artwork really) and the cost of supplies and materials do add up. I do not work for free. Please see number five.
9. "I wish I didn't have to work and could draw/paint all day."
- So do I.... Realize that I also do all of my own accounting, marketing, networking, inventory, website building, and social media too; it is not about painting happy trees all day long. And don't even get me started on artist block...
10. "Can you make me a drawing/painting that looks exactly like this artwork?"
- No, I do not copy other people's artwork that is illegal under copyright laws. I won't even copy an artwork from one of the classic artists, it just doesn't feel right. I'll create something new for you though.
11. "What is your real job? What do you do for money?"
- My artwork is my real job, and it is what I do for money. Sure, it may not bring home the bacon every day, but I rather work on my passion than someone else's dreams.
12. "You should become a tattoo artist, and then you could tattoo me!"
- No I am not going to be a tattoo artist. One I don't think I could handle the whininess of those who can't handle getting a tattoo. Two, I have had problems with my right hand, wrist and arm. In fact, my thumb was stuck in "thumbs up" position for six weeks, and hurts periodically when I draw and paint. I can't imagine trying to tattoo someone for hours with my hand, wrist, and/or arm hurting or falling asleep.
13. "I know that this artwork is completed a few weeks ago, and I have already paid for it, but could you make these five changes and change the color scheme?" OR "You painted this for me a month ago, and I was wondering if you can add a few things to it. My friend/sister/mother/brother/cousin/grandma/stranger off the street made the suggestion, and I think they are right."
- No, refer back to the signed contract and read it please. I am more than happy to start a new commissioned artwork for you though, for a price of course.
14. "Could you also draw this for me and add this and this and this to the commissioned job you just finished for me?"
- I can do that for you for an additional price, and we will need to sign a separate contract before I begin on any new artwork. Any changes or additions to the first artwork fall under the circumstances of the signed contract for that particular artwork.
15. "I see that you love drawing animals and landscapes, do you draw people too? Could you draw a portrait of me?
- Sorry, no, I do not draw people. I can draw you cartoon style though, you know, kind of like anime. However, I can draw/paint a portrait of your pet!
16. "Can you teach me/mom/dad/sister/brother/cousin/daughter/son/friend how to draw/paint?"
- If I wanted to be an art teacher, I would be an art teacher. However, if you sign up to my mailing list; I will let you know if I ever decide to teach a class.
17. "Can you paint/draw something for me for free? We have been friends for years"
- No, I don't work for free, do you?
18. "Can you paint/draw something for me for free; I'm your second cousins girlfriend"
- Nope, refer to number 17.
19. "If you draw/paint something for me really fast, would it be cheaper?"
- No, unless you want a stick person.... I can draw you a stick person for real cheap!
- Realize that creativity takes time and cannot be rushed.
- If you work faster, do you get paid for less at your job?
20. "You are a great artist, do you paint business signs, you know like lettering?"
- No, I don't paint signs, I paint art.
21. "Did you go to school, or where you born artist?"
- Yes, when I was born, I came out with a paint brush in my hand and a beret on my head...... No not really....
- My dad used to paint in front of me when I was little, and my mom had encouraged my creativity, so I drew and colored a lot when I was a kid. As I got older, I took art classes including courses such as art history and art appreciation classes to broaden my art education. I also took the time to learn things on my own such as practicing drawing, painting, and creating other artwork for hours, or reading and learning about art, art history, art techniques, and etcetera.
22. "Oh you're from Washington State? You must be from Seattle! That is where all the Washington artists are from"
- No, I am not from Seattle and never have lived in Seattle. I am actually originally from the south eastern part of Washington State, which is a high desert.
- "Oh, you're an actor; you must have been born in Los Angeles!" .... seriously?
23. "This mask is heavy, is this it wearable?" While the person takes it down from the wall....... and while all the blood drains out of my face and I just want to faint. Please, do not touch the art. I think my heart is breaking......
- Obviously, the masks are too heavy to wear. My plaster masks are for decoration only.
- By the way, please DO NOT touch the art!
24. "Can I touch your art?" While there is a sign nearby in big bold print that clearly states "Please DO NOT touch the Artwork!" Worst part, when you start to say, "No, please don't touch the art" They are already touching the artwork! *Cringe*
- Please don't touch the artwork! Your hands may be dirty and also your skin has oils which are left on the artwork that you just touched and the oils can damage the artwork over time and ruining it. Besides, I don't know where your hands have been, or if you have washed them after you used the restroom....
25. "Oh you're an artist, are you one of those crazy vegans?"
- Actually no, I am vegetarian, just because I am an artist does not mean that I have to follow a strict diet. There are artists out there who eat meat or have some other different sort of diet. It is not like artists are a separate breed from "other" people; we are actually just like you.
26. "God has given you such a wonderful gift! Let's pray to thank the Lord Jesus for what he has given you".
- Thank you for the complement, but I did not receive my artistic traits from your god or any god for that matter. I worked hard to get where I am today, and your god or gods had nothing to do with it.
27. "Huh.... You don't look like an artist"
- I'm sorry; I did not realize that artists were supposed to look a certain way....
28. "So, do you walk around downtown asking people if you can paint/draw something for them?"
- Yes, and I ask people to feed me too because I am starving. Actually no, people contact me about commissioned artwork through my website, social media outlets, or when I am networking.
29. "Have you gone to Burning Man? I have heard that ALL artists go to Burning Man"
- No, I have not been to Burning Man, but I did help set up an art exhibit of photography of Burning Man when I was taking the Art Gallery Management and Museum Studies course at Modesto Junior College. I would like to go to Burning Man and set up some artwork someday, just not sure when.
30. "I bet your artwork will be worth a lot of money after you die."
- Ummm.... Thanks for the complement?
31. While I am drawing or painting in public and someone walks up to me and says, "What would you do if I randomly walked up to you and nudged your arm while you are drawing/painting and made you mess up? Ha Ha... Whoops! Woo, now wouldn't that be funny?!"
- Hmmm.... How would you feel if I just randomly walked up to you and punched you in the face? Ha Ha! Whoops! Woo! Yeah, that would be a hoot!
31. While I am painting/drawing in public and someone walks up to me and asks, "Wow, are you really drawing/painting that!?"
- No, I am not really drawing/painting, I just appear to be drawing/painting.... sigh..... Yes, I am really drawing/painting. This is really happening right now!
33. "You're so lucky that your husband allows you to be an artist and takes care of you so you're not homeless."
- My husband does not "allow" me to be an artist. My art is my J-O-B. Another thing, we take care of each other, which is what marriage is about.
32. "You did not go to college to get an art degree? You're not an artist."
- Just because I did not get my college degree in art, does not mean that I am not an artist. An artist is a person that is engaged in one or more creative activities in which they are demonstrating or practicing the arts. There is nowhere in the definition of artist in the dictionary that defines that an artist's is someone who graduated from college with an arts degree. Look up the word "artist", see for yourself.
33. "I am not creative at all; I can't even draw stick figures."
- I am sure that if you practiced hard enough, you could draw a stick person or maybe even something better! Besides, I am sure that you have some sort of talent that you can do very well. Don't put yourself down.
34. "Your artwork is so expensive; no one is ever going to buy it!"
- Actually, I have sold original artwork that I have created, and I have also created some commissioned artwork as well. If you feel that my originals are too expensive, I also have art prints in various sizes and may be more affordable for you.
35. "Hey, I love your art.... I would love for you to draw me" some creepy guy says with foul alcohol breath. He has no idea what my art is about, but is very interested in my business card, with my cell number!
- Ummm.... Yea.... Here is my card.... (without my cell number). Please kindly go away. No, I am not interested in a date; no I don't want you to buy me a drink, dinner, desert, flowers, or a teddy bear. I am not interested and I am HAPPILY MARRIED. Thank You!
Artist Monica Gunderson *~
Shadow © 2012 Monica Gunderson - All Rights Reserved; Unauthorized Reproduction Prohibited
Monica Gunderson Fine Artist